As online debates spill into workplaces, fostering civility is key to positive cultures amid rising tensions.
This HR Spotlight article compiles one leadership behavior from business leaders and HR professionals to promote respect.
Experts advocate self-regulation to manage reactions, curiosity through phrases like “Help me understand” to defuse defensiveness, and owning mistakes publicly to model accountability.
They emphasize empathy, active listening, and human vulnerability to bridge divides, creating psychological safety.
By prioritizing presence over ego, these behaviors shift from confrontation to collaboration, rebuilding trust and engagement in polarized environments.
Read on!
Naomi Shammas-King
Lead at Global Employment Platform, Oyster
Effective leaders let themselves be seen as multifaceted individuals rather than positions of authority.
Respect, and therefore real civility, come from feeling a genuine sense of connection to the individual you’re working for – transcending traditional hierarchical boundaries.
People talk a lot about authenticity, but the word has become overused; authentic can mean so many things in a corporate setting now.
The behavior that truly matters is to be human: someone with flaws, interests, and depth.
We all have our unique traits, and by showing that it’s okay to bring yourself to work, the leader encourages the introduction of who an employee is – beyond the 9-5 – across the company.
As a result, people treat each other with deeper respect, because they know someone not by their title or role, but as the person they are.
Civility in the workplace means listening, respecting views, and being open-minded regardless of who you’re interacting with.
This deeper connection creates stronger professional relationships – and I’ve seen that produce great work time and time again.
Authentic Leadership Drives Deeper Respect
Kevin Judge
CEO, iNOBLl
Leading with curiosity is a foundational skill that all leaders (all people actually) should work on strengthening.
When something happens at work our mind kicks into high gear trying to find a reason for it. Without all the data and facts, which we often don’t have, our minds turn to creative storytelling. Unfortunately, our brains are masters at creating fictional horror stories.
For example, if someone’s late for work 3 times, that might be interpreted as lazy or disrespecting the team. Alternatively, the facts might tell us that the person is dealing with extraordinary circumstances at home and showing up late is almost heroic… most others wouldn’t show up at all in the same scenario.
Before letting our brains jump to conclusions, get curious. Ask questions. Assume people have positive intent. Ask them what’s going on.
Most people wake up in the morning wanting to do good.
Curiosity Counters Negative Assumptions
Engage in active listening and acknowledge each person in every interaction. Listen to your team with genuine attention.
Ask clear questions and recognize their input before you reply. Put away devices when talking. Keep eye contact and repeat what you hear for proper understanding. Follow up on their issues.
Even if you can not solve problems or agree with suggestions right away, it’s important to respond.
This behavior builds psychological safety. Employees feel safe sharing ideas and feedback. They do not fear dismissal.
Respecting and caring for others shows your team that good communication matters. Employees show this behavior with their colleagues.
This builds mutual respect as a key principle. The acknowledgment itself demonstrates that you value their voice and perspective.
This leadership practice changes workplace dynamics. It shows that everyone’s input matters. This builds respect, which spreads across your organization. As a result, it drives positive cultural change.
Active Listening Fosters Psychological Safety
Samantha Reynolds
Account Manager, Helpside
Taking ownership of mistakes publicly and personally in 1-1 connections.
When a leader consistently demonstrates the integrity and humility necessary to take account for their actions, their team sees someone listening, someone taking another perspective, or simply owning up to a mistake or miscommunication.
Then, they see the conversation and effort shift back to the work. How do we come together as a team to accomplish our goal?
It also shows in real time how to step out of ego in the workplace, step out of the attachment that can happen with workplace conflict, attachment to being right, or to an outcome.
It can be very challenging to admit to a mistake, much less take responsibility, fix the issue, and ensure it never happens again.
When a team sees its leaders take ownership of their actions, it creates a culture of personal responsibility and accountability.
Own Mistakes to Model Accountability
Sara Gilbert
Strategist Business Development, Business Strategist & Keynote Speaker
One powerful leadership behaviour to foster civility is modelling curiosity through language, more precisely by asking “Help me understand…”
In moments of tension or disagreement, this simple phrase defuses defensiveness, creates psychological safety, and demonstrates a willingness to listen rather than react.
It shifts the conversation from confrontation to collaboration. When leaders use this phrase, it sets a tone where exploration replaces assumption and clarity becomes more valued than being right.
Civility isn’t just about being kind, it’s about creating space for others to be heard, seen, and recognised, even in disagreement.
Curious Questions Promote Collaboration
Martha A.Burich
Speaker & Author, Yes You Can Raise Happy Responsible Children
I’ve taught child psychology in college classrooms and special education in high school. Now I teach parenting to people who want more peace in their homes. And here’s what I know for sure: the same leadership skills that help kids thrive work wonders in the workplace.
When emotions run high, real leaders don’t power up and bark orders. They stay calm. They listen. They respond with clarity and respect, even when they disagree. That’s what we teach our kids, right? Don’t scream. Don’t be ashamed. Speak up, but do it kindly.
I once worked with a team where tension felt like walking on eggshells. What changed it? One person, a new manager. This leader refused to engage in blame. She stayed grounded and modeled emotional maturity.
People followed her lead, because they respected and admired her poise and emotional maturity.
Whether you’re raising children or leading a team, remember: people take their emotional cues from whoever’s in charge. Be the one who stays steady. Be a good example.
Stay Calm to Set Emotional Tone
Genevieve Piturro
Founder, Genevieve Piturro
Be open about why this situation matters to all involved. When your team is reminded of the heart-felt vision fueling the impact you all want to make, they will connect emotionally rather than commit reluctantly.
Listen between the lines. Often, what’s not said is more important to the team’s camaraderie. Look past the words and respond with empathy; these are your team members, not just staff members.
Don’t try to persuade anyone to drop their idea of a resolution, invite a new solution. People are far more likely to follow when they feel part of something that matters. When you make it about us, their hearts and actions follow.
Invite Solutions for Shared Commitment
Evan White
Chief Marketing Officer, ERIN
When online tension seeps into the workplace, the most impactful leadership behavior is modeling curiosity over combativeness. Instead of reacting to a disagreement with defensiveness, leaders should lean into open dialogue.
Ask questions. Invite perspectives. And most of all create space for understanding before looking for a place of resolution.
Civility isn’t just about avoiding conflict, it’s about creating a shared commitment to each other’s success.
Curiosity Drives Understanding
The HR Spotlight team thanks these industry leaders for offering their expertise and experience and sharing these insights.
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